Hello, my name is--wait... You don't really need my name, do you? Actually, I don't think you need my name at all. You can call me White, or Kiwi, or whatever floats your boat. Honestly, I don't recommend calling me whatever floats your boat; it's long, and hard to say and type.

In any case, since thus far, I'm not a suspect in any murder cases or federal lawsuits, (to my knowledge, anyway), I'll try and leave this profile short--like most non-criminal citizens would. If you really want to know more about me than what is in the happy little facts below, go ahead and ask. I might not answer, but if you're really nice--or you talk about kiwis--I might consider it.

I'm a three-hundred and ninety-two year old vampire with a kiwi-addiction. Well, no, I'm really not. I may have a kiwi addiction, but everything else is a lie.

I live on Earth, like most people (although I've met several that must live in the clouds), As to where on Earth I'm located, I'll leave that up to you to make an educated guess. If you don't have an educated guess, just make a stupid guess.

My hobbies include drawing (!!!), writing, eating kiwis, harassing my cats and friends (), and playing Sonic the Hedgehog arcade games. My occupations are living, and your worst nightmare.

Some of my dislikes include the color orange, Aquafina brand water, wet lettuce, porn and other disgusting things, my grandmother's dog, and asparagus. It's actually a much more detailed list than that, but I fear that if I went into detail, I would probably win the award for longest and most pointless profile on the face of the earth.

Alrighty, well, this profile is over now. I guess I lied about keeping short, huh? I swear, I really did tell the truth about not being involved in any murders and federal lawsuits... Well, again, it's to my knowledge...

Oh, and to those that want to know? I /am/ an idiot.